Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
