I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
