There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
