i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
