If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
