I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
