I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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