So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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