He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
