Acid is not a monday night drug
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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