I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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