so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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