Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
