It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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