i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
