Will you blow on my dice?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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