its not stalking. its research.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
