if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
