You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
