I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
