who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Enjoy the penises
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
