Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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