Ambien. No doubt about it.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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