i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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