he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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