wrigley field is MILF paradise
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize