idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
