She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
