So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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