Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
