If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
