you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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