took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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