Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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