But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
