ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
