Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
