Christians are straight up FREAKS
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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