i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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