He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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