If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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