I think im going to throw up on grandma
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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