I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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