I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
