she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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