I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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