you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
