I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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