I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
did i walk over a car last night?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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