I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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