I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
