We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Randomize
