oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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