I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
