R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
