i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Randomize
