my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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