Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
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