just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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