i just google imaged poop.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
