i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
