My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
