I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
